More Than Just Please and Thank You:
Groton woman teaches a new breed of etiquette

By Danielle Sherry

Published on 1/6/2006

Groton - Usually children spend the week between Christmas and New Year's Day racing around the house, driving parents crazy with all of their new toys and excess, sugar-fueled energy.
But not at the Mills' house.
Although Marissa Mills' four children did have their fair share of fun during vacation week, they also took time out to write thank-you notes to everyone who gave them gifts.
“I try to impress upon my children the importance of saying 'thank you' and making a real effort to show your appreciation,” Mills said.
“It was actually fun,” her youngest daughter, Beatrice, 7, confirmed.
Mills represents a new breed of etiquette consultant, specializing in children ages 4 to 22.
“We are living in an age when our children have been raised on Bart Simpson and Britney Spears,” Mills said. “With both parents working and the fast pace of life, kids are not taught how to treat people properly. That's what etiquette is all about.”
Something of an etiquette craze has swept the nation in the past few years, with states like Washington, Maryland and California offering classes and informational seminars to both parents and children.
“We're reaping what we have been sowing for the past 20 to 30 years,” Corinne Gregory, founder of PoliteChild, recently told Time magazine. “Society has gotten increasingly callous and me-centered and we're fed up with (the results).”
Here in New England, the etiquette resurgence is just catching on. Mills said she knows of only a few certified consultants in this area.
“Treating people properly leads to self-respect, which in turn leads to confidence and leadership,” she said. “And helping our children become more confident is something every parent should want for their child.”
Mills said she understands that the word “etiquette” has a negative stigma attached to it.
“What people don't understand is that etiquette is not just about eating bonbons and wearing white gloves. It's more than that,” she said.
Mills has been interested in behavior most of her life. The 45-year-old grew up in West Virginia and attended college there, majoring in psychology and chemistry. She went on to study behavioral psychology and eventually became a behavior therapist.

“I actually worked in Atlantic City for a while as an employee counselor, and also did some leadership training,” she said. Mills and her family moved to Groton when her husband took a job with Mohegan Sun.
“Even though I had become a stay-at-home mom, I always knew that I wanted to re-enter the workforce,” she said. And Mills received her opportunity when she was accepted at the Washington School of Protocol, a company that offers professional etiquette and protocol training and certification.
Mills' children are a testament to her endeavors. Ranging from 7 to 13 years old, they are polite, cheerful and full of life.
“I'm not suggesting that we have the perfect family and nothing ever goes awry,” Mills said. “But I'm proud to say that my kids always look someone in the eye when they are talking.”
Mills, who has implemented some of her programs at local schools, hopes to host an etiquette camp in the summer.
“After all, who doesn't want their children to be successful?” Mills said.
Marissa Mills runs her business out of her home, at 36 Church St. in Groton. She can be reached at (860) 857-9437 or millsetiquette@yahoo.com.